Since our school days, we have been exposed to the message that it is undesirable to be an introvert.
If you feel that you are an introvert, you must have been advised at one time or another by a knowing parent, teacher, or senior to be less shy and more outgoing.
However, what is important for networking is not your natural extroverted personality or your attractive appearance.
Even if you are shy and introverted, or even if you are aware of your communicative disorder, you can improve your situation if you learn some solid techniques.
Professor Adam Grant of the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania in the United States, who describes himself as an introvert, has done a lot of research on extroverts and introverts.
The professor is an organizational psychologist who, at the age of 35, became the youngest tenured professor in Wharton's history.
He has consulted for companies and institutions such as Google, Walt Disney, Goldman Sachs, and the United Nations.
One of the studies that Professor Grant conducted was to determine whether introverted or extroverted leaders do a better job with their teams.
Adam Grant, Francesca Gino, and David A. Hofmann(2010) The Hidden Advantages of Quiet Bosses
The results of the validation showed that introverted leaders produced better results than extroverted leaders.
Without realizing it, the extroverted leader tended to be so preoccupied with taking charge of everything that he or she felt intimidated by what others had to say, and was unable to utilize the ideas of others.
On the other hand, introverted leaders were better at listening, and tended to calmly analyze and judge the content of what members were saying, and consider ways to make it more efficient for the team.
Such a leader's attitude motivated the entire team.
The professor's study of salespeople also revealed that introverts achieve better results in interpersonal relationships than extroverts.
Adam M. Grant(2013) Rethinking the Extraverted Sales Ideal: The Ambivert Advantage
In this study, a personality test was administered to 340 salespeople, and the participants were classified into three types: extroverted, introverted, and bi-directional.
By the way, a bi-directional personality is one that falls somewhere between an extrovert and an introvert.
We then tracked and recorded the sales performance of the participants, and after three months, the rankings were as follows
- two-way
- introvert
- outgoing personality
Bi-directional salespeople made 24% more sales than introverts and 32% more sales than extroverts.
Why polyvalent, pushy extroverts are shunned
In general, in the field of sales, there is an image of an extroverted personality that approaches and sells aggressively, which leads to good results.
However, Professor Grant's study showed a different result.
The professor made the following analysis.
“First, extroverted salespeople tend to think more from their own perspective than from that of the customer. Selling requires assertiveness and passion, but it must be based on the customer's interests and values.
“Secondly, extroverted salespeople tend to give customers a bad impression of them. The more passionately they talk about the value of their products, the more customers think they are overconfident and overexcited.”
In other words, an overly pushy approach can be counterproductive in the field of sales.
This is also true in human relationships.
It is not uncommon for an extroverted personality who appears to be outspoken and attractive to many people to actually be shunned by the other person, who thinks that they only talk about themselves and do not listen to what they have to say.
However, extroverts tend to be insensitive to the reactions of those around them, so they can continue to communicate in the same way without worrying.
As a result, even if someone leaves you, the extrovert will make the next acquaintance who will listen and fill the hole.That's a way of networking, but it's not a mutually beneficial relationship.
What introverts lack in experience, they can make up for in technique.
The important point here is not from the perspective of “extroverts are bad” or “introverts have problems,” but that with the right techniques, people with either tendency can become closer to being bi-directional.
“Some people may be repulsed by the term “socializing techniques,” thinking that it sounds like a trick to deceive others.
However, the more introverted you are, the more you will benefit from learning these techniques.
This is because introverted and shy types are overwhelmingly lacking in experience.
I know exactly what you mean, because I've been there. Even if you decide to be proactive about networking at this very moment, you don't know where to take that first step.
For example, even when you meet someone you want to get to know, after saying, “Nice to meet you,” you may wonder, “What are we going to do next? It's because the question becomes, “Where do we go from here?
No matter how much you want to get to know someone in your heart, if you don't show it through conversation and action, they won't get it.
If the other person becomes confused and awkward while you are fumbling around, you will both be wasting time and missing an opportunity.
If you jump into a communication situation without learning the techniques, you will find that the more communicative you are, the more difficult it will be for you to socialize.
In a separate article, I will introduce techniques based on psychology and behavioral economics, such as techniques for reading the other person's mind, key phrases to get people to open up when they first meet you, how to get in touch with people to increase your intimacy, and how to build a conversation that will make a good impression on you.
Learning a technique is not a cowardly thing.
If you are the introverted and shy type like me, the techniques will make up for the lack of opportunities and give you the courage to go out into the world of communication.