Have you ever seen a female friend who is very possessive and holds her boyfriend tightly, and worried that he might run away from her?
But wait a minute! Are you okay with yourself?
A little bit of jealousy or what you think is selfish behavior may also lead to bondage.
Your boyfriend may think you are possessive.
What does the behavior of a possessive woman mean and how does he feel about it?
Learn a little about female possessiveness so that you don't lose your precious boyfriend.
- The characteristics of a possessive woman, and the meanings behind her words and actions.
- How does a woman's possessiveness move his heart?
- Reinventing yourself without being driven by possessiveness
The characteristics of a possessive woman, and the meanings behind her words and actions.
The desire to keep something to oneself, to be possessive of it.
I think anyone can have the feeling of wanting to be alone with him, wanting him to see only me, wanting him to like only me.
I'm sure you can remember more than a few times when you were frustrated that his feelings were not directed only at you.
Monopoly is a desire that exists in both men and women, but the psychology behind it is not exactly the same.
Because women have a keen sense of intuition, they may become one-sidedly possessive based on the slightest discomfort in his words or actions.
I would like to list some of the characteristics of a woman with a strong desire for exclusivity and explore the tendencies and countermeasures.
One of the characteristics of a possessive girlfriend is that she wants to make sure she's the best.
“What do you like most about me?” is a good example.
Maybe you've said it to him, too?
Men may think it's cute at first, but if it's repeated, it seems to become more and more bothersome.
When a woman asks, “Am I the best? The question “Am I the best?” is meant to confirm that you like me the most compared to other women.
Even with the same possessiveness, a man's attention will be on himself, such as “look only at me” or “don't deny me.
Women, on the other hand, are more conscious of competition with other members of the same sex.
I don't want to lose to other women.
They love me more than other women.
That's why it's so important for women who want exclusivity.
However, it's not easy for a boyfriend to be competitive with all the women around him, in addition to all his ex-girlfriends.
For him, other women and her are two completely different things.
I'm so loved!
When a man brags about his girlfriend, the subject may often refer to her looks.
Women, on the other hand, have a tendency to value what he has done for them and not what he has done for them.
For example, he took me on a trip, gave me a popular accessory as a gift, or listened to this kind of selfishness.
What women want to brag about to those around them is how much they are loved by him.
I want them to see me not only as a nice and kind boyfriend, but also as a happy person who is being cared for by a nice boyfriend.
In order to keep that situation, I need to keep a hold on him and make sure he only sees me.
Cheating or breaking up with someone is an absolute no-no, because it would be a total denial of your ability to be loved.
The desire to prevent this from happening turns to him as a possessive desire.
I want to protect the situation of me being loved so much by him.
“Why?” is a sign of anxiety
One of the characteristics of a possessive girlfriend that makes men raise their eyebrows is the “why? This is a characteristic of a possessive girlfriend.
For example, I mentioned the trait of wanting to confirm, “Do you like me best? For example, “Do you love me the most?” is a trait that people like to confirm, but there is often more to this confirmation.
Even when he replies in the affirmative, she is still not satisfied.
What I want to know is why he likes me.
“Why do you like it?” followed by a question that asks for a more detailed reason.
And if you answer, “I don't know,” it can lead to “Why don't you know? If you answer, “I don't know,” it can be a way to push them away.
Even if he didn't mean to offend you, it might be quite painful for him if he's not good at putting things into words.
“Why?” The reason why you want to ask “Why?” is because you want to know everything about him more and more.
She just can't shake the feeling of insecurity because she wants to possess him so badly.
We want to relieve our anxiety as much as possible, so we seek reasons to feel more secure.
“Why can't I see you today?” “Why don't you promise me?” Behind her “Why? Behind the “Why?” lies the psychology of unfulfilled desire for exclusivity, anxiety and stress.
She wants her boyfriend to complain about it or relieve her of it.
no matter how hard one tries
A woman who is possessive may be devoted to him at the expense of herself.
You're so focused on yourself that you'll worry about his every little gesture.
It also creates the feeling of wanting something in return, thinking that since I'm doing so much for her, she should only look out for me.
The act of devoting yourself to the person you love comes with both joy and stress.
The stress of sacrificing your own convenience and emotions for his.
In her mind, there is both the desire to be devoted to him and the stress of “Why am I doing so much for him? and “Why am I doing so much for him?
Such a contradiction or feeling of discomfort in the mind is called cognitive dissonance in psychology, and people may conveniently change their behavior and emotions to resolve the contradiction.
In other words, her brain judges the contradiction she feels by serving him as “I can do this because I love him so much.
It is she herself who thinks that she has fallen more in love with the other person by being so devoted to him, when in fact she has failed in her expectation that he will only look out for her.
It was her emotions that moved.
The more she does, the more their feelings may cross paths.
How does a woman's possessiveness move his heart?
Men have a natural instinct to hunt.
Men have a hunting instinct that has been passed down from generation to generation.
In primitive times, a man's job was to protect the livelihood of his family by hunting.
This hunting instinct is also at work in love, and when we see a beautiful woman, we want to own her and monopolize her.
Are men more possessive?
In fact, there is even a theory that men are more possessive than women.
It is often said that men prefer to be chased rather than being chased.
They are eager to monopolize a magnificent prey, but if the prey is worthless, they will lose interest in it.
To keep them interested, obvious possessiveness is counterproductive.
“Am I the best?” or “Why?” or “Why?
These actions reveal her possessiveness to him as well.
He may feel that he no longer needs to pursue such things about her.
If she is only chasing after him, then I am a little worried about their relationship.
Reinventing yourself without being driven by possessiveness
Stop prioritizing him all the time.
Even if you are already in a relationship, be the one who makes him want to chase you and make you his.
If you do, he will only see you.
To satisfy his need for exclusivity, he uses the exclusivity that he has.
As I mentioned earlier, you can't expect him to be possessive of you if you sacrifice yourself to serve him.
What a waste to sacrifice yourself to something that doesn't work! Instead, why don't you make yourself a priority?
Use the time you used to spend on him to do something you like or to improve yourself.
If you do, you may smile more than you already do, and you may become more beautiful.
If you can be a wonderful woman who sparkles inside and out, that is the kind of woman he wants to pursue.
Of course, be careful to balance your priorities so that it doesn't become all about you.
Make it a point to meet people other than him.
He competes with the women around him and can't stop wondering about everything about him.
If he is everything in the world to you, your consciousness will only be on him and you will become possessive.
It's ridiculous to compare yourself to a love interest that's over, or to agonize over a woman he has no romantic feelings for whatsoever!
Your world is big.
There must be other people, such as friends, seniors and juniors, who can be a good influence on you and with whom you can have a good time.
If you can look at the world outside of him and enjoy the time you spend there, you won't have time to feel the competitive spirit that you don't need to have.
Don't do anything to mislead him, but I'm sure he has his own world, including time to meet with his male friends.
When you are enjoying your own world, maybe you will be seen as a wonderful woman that he will want to chase.
Before you know it, he may become more possessive of you.
Be confident in your ability to be loved.
The reason why you care about other women and why you want a reason to be with them is because you don't feel confident that you are the most loved person in the world.
The fact that you devote yourself to him more than necessary is also a sign that you want him to like you more and become mine.
Women are healthy creatures.
As I've mentioned, men are creatures that want to chase.
There is a theory that even possessiveness is stronger in men with hunting instincts.
Women are OK as long as they don't panic, don't fuss, and are pursued and served by him.
Let yourself believe in yourself that you are loved by him.
If you are still unsure and insecure, I hope you will try to eliminate your insecurities by trying to be the person he wants to pursue.
I'm sure it will be more effective than giving him a monopoly, and it's nice to improve yourself apart from your relationship with him.
The desire to possess him is something that we all remember.
It's scary to think that everything you do and say to relieve your cravings has the opposite effect.
I shudder to think what he would think of me as “prey not worth chasing anymore”.
The important thing is to be a woman who can be chased.
Be aware of yourself, not just of him.
I want to be in a relationship where we can stimulate his hunting instincts and keep just the right amount of exclusivity with each other.
- Female perception of a partner’s mate value discrepancy and controlling behaviour in romantic relationships
- The Evolutionary Psychology of Envy and Jealousy
- Ambivalent Sexism in Close Relationships: (Hostile) Power and (Benevolent) Romance Shape Relationship Ideals
- The Price of Distrust: Trust, Anxious Attachment, Jealousy, and Partner Abuse