There are many places to meet people, even if you are both married, at work, with former friends, at reunions, or as a hobby.
If it's just a matter of keeping in touch or meeting up with other people, but if it's just the two of you on a date, you're going to be worried about what people will think.
However, there are many disadvantages to meeting secretly and sneaking around after the fact.
In this article, I would like to introduce some excuses and ways for such married people to meet without being blamed by others for dating.
Be honest and open with your partner.
I'm hiding it anyway, which makes me suspicious! I'll prove my innocence.
Regardless of whether they have any guilty feelings or not, if they hide or lie, the damage will be enormous when they are found out later.
More than the content, the fact that you were lied to could make it a worst case scenario.
The simplest and most effective way to prevent this is to be honest and open about everything.
This is, after all, the best one.
For example, before you go out on a date, it is effective for you to give your partner a preliminary report.
Tell your partner when, where, and with whom you are meeting, and say, “If you're not comfortable, I can give you their contact information now. What do you think?
If you have been told this much, the chances of your partner thinking you have nothing to be ashamed of will increase.
Even if people find out about it, you can let them know that it is approved by both partners, which is more important than anything else, and there will be fewer unwanted rumors.
There are as many forms of marriage as there are couples, and it's nonsense for people around you to complain when your wife/husband has given you the OK.
If you're going to stay overnight, you'll need another alibi, but if you're just going on a normal date, the best way to avoid suspicion is to tell the whole story.
In some cases, your original partner's trust in your honesty will grow even more.
Email and contact information are public. Be thorough about what you don't want to be seen.
However, this method has its only and biggest pitfall.
That is, whether you are doing something that would be embarrassing if you were found out.
Whether it's a text message full of heart marks or a couple on a date, if you have something to hide that you can't honestly tell your partner about, you have to hide it.
So, in that case, you need to do a good prep work.
For example, one of the most famous ways to do this is to create a dedicated e-mail account for the other person.
It may be a little inconvenient, but if you can prove your innocence by disclosing the rest, a little trouble is inevitable.
It is important to note that you should not use that account in a place where your partner can see it by mistake.
If you don't want to panic when someone suddenly says, “Let me see your e-mail,” make sure to manage your data only in an environment where your privacy is assured.
As long as you can be thorough with that, you can rather confidently make the rest of your emails and social networking sites public.
There is no evidence of anything suspicious.
“Never show any signs of guilt or evidence of guilt in front of your partner.
It's an obvious thing to do, but a little carelessness can be fatal, so be sure to keep it in mind.
Go out to spots that your partner is not interested in.
Leverage the strength of your partner's comprehensive list of interests.
The original partner is the one with whom you share your life in a typical household.
That's why we both know each other's hobbies and how we spend our holidays.
Use this as an excuse to go with someone who can do the things you want to do that you can't do with your partner.
For example, if your partner is an indoor person, it's hard to invite him/her to an outdoor event regardless of whether he/she has a date or not.
Likewise, it's hard to invite someone to a bar if they don't like to drink, and it's hard to invite someone to a movie theater if they're not interested in movies.
This is normal in friendships as well.
You can get behind that and create a situation where you say, “I don't want to force you to go out with me, so I'll go with a friend who has similar tastes.
The key here is to emphasize your compassion for your partner, saying, “It's bad enough that you have to force yourself.
You know what they like, and you know what they don't like or aren't interested in, so you can catch them off guard.
We have the same interests. There's no reason to blame you!
This can be a perfect way for married people who met through a hobby to date each other.
The reason for this is that people's perceptions of the two of you are already made up from the start, so there are few people who would question the idea of the two of you going out there together.
If an acquaintance who doesn't know what's going on asks you something after the fact, you can say, “My partner doesn't like to ask me out (or says no when I do). That's why I have a friend who has similar hobbies go out with me.
In this way, you can prevent rumors from spreading by appealing to the public that the companion is only an attendant.
Look for commonalities that are as familiar to your life as possible.
The point of this method is that the excuse for a date between married people should be a hobby that is as close to their lives as possible.
For example, with seasonal activities such as skiing or surfing, even if you can enjoy it only during that season, once the season is over, people around you will have no excuse to meet.
If you've been meeting under that pretext for a long time, and then you suddenly decide to go on a date without a reason, both your partner and the people around you have to be suspicious.
The best way to do this is for two married people to create a hobby in advance that they can enjoy throughout the year.
There is nothing difficult about it.
Movies, alcohol, billiards, darts, painting, motorcycles, cars, fashion, cameras, gourmet food… There are many hobbies in this world that are not bound by seasons.
From these, carefully select and take away the ones that your partner is not interested in and enjoy them in a dignified manner with two married people.
Make a mutual friend.
The reassurance of having a witness to their innocence!
No matter how many excuses you make and how many suspicions you eliminate, it is inevitable that people will not take kindly to married couples going out on dates.
In such cases, it is very reassuring to know that we have friends who are willing to follow us in places we do not know.
Make a mutual friend of the two of you who can firmly testify that you are innocent.
It's even better if it's someone who shares your interests.
Even if you don't, just having a friend who knows that you are firmly in a “good friendship” with someone other than your original partner will reduce the risk of sneaking rumors.
“Even if someone said, “Those two are kind of suspicious,” he would follow up with, “He said they are good friends of each other, and they seem to know each other's wives and husbands.
That is the only way to increase the credibility of our innocence without our knowing it.
You should meet with that person personally.
One-on-one, face-to-face discussions are the best way to deepen relationships.
The same can be said for friends in this case.
If you talk about the other person and say, “He and she are good friends. You can make it more credible by saying things like, “He's a good friend, but I don't see him as a romantic interest.
If possible, it is even better to create a “between you and me” atmosphere over drinks.
The other person's friends will think, “If you have all the conditions to talk in private, but you don't tell them, then you really don't have anything to hide.
Just be careful not to get carried away by the alcohol and talk too much.
The key here is to not talk too much.
Just as people who are uncomfortable with lying will tell you even unnecessary information, over-emphasizing your innocence may make you suspicious of the opposite.
Be careful not to become suspicious of their behavior, for example by speaking smoothly and then quickly changing to another topic.
Make acquaintance with each other's partners.
“I'm not going to threaten your security.”
Your partner is meeting with a stranger in a place you don't know.
Many people would be worried about that alone.
To relieve this anxiety, making mutual acquaintance at an early stage is one of the ways to avoid suspicion in the long run.
If you are a man, you may want to take her home late at night and greet her husband to prove that you did not touch her.
There is some risk involved, but if you do it well, it will increase your trust in the person. If you do it well, you will be able to increase the trust of your clients.
Give them good will before they get suspicious!
So far, I have introduced ways and excuses for married couples to date each other without their partners getting suspicious.
But even so, not many people would feel comfortable with their husband or wife meeting with the opposite sex outside alone.
In a way, it is natural that even if it is good at first, as the number of times increases, a stop may be put in place.
Once a person has a bad image of you, it is difficult to get rid of it, and if you still insist on meeting them, they may become even more suspicious of you and you may end up in trouble.
So, let's create a good image first in the early stages before such a bad impression is created.
For example, when two married couples go out together, they should buy a souvenir for each partner.
For example, if you are a man, you can say, “I went out with a guy who told me that women like this kind of gift, so I bought it.
This will increase the likelihood that your next date will be easily forgiven.
It also appeals to the people around you that you value your original family more than your married relationship.
summary
What did you think?
A date with a married person is different from a date with a single person in that there are certain things to keep in mind.
The most important thing is to be able to prove to your original partner that you are not lying to them.
Even if you don't want to, you can't afford to lie again and again.
Be as sincere as possible in your attitude toward your partner to emphasize that you are at least ostensibly an innocent friend.
This way, you can be proud of yourself even if people say something about you.
Lies come out in your attitude, and that attitude can reveal things that you had been able to hide.
Married couples should talk to each other, and if they have to lie, they should make sure that their stories make sense and make sense to each other.
References
- Attachment Insecurity and Infidelity in Marriage: Do Studies of Dating Relationships Really Inform Us about Marriage?
- When one spouse has an affair, who is more likely to leave?
- Discovery of a Partner Affair and Major Depressive Episode In a Probability Sample of Married or Cohabiting Adults
- Do You Have Anything to Hide? Infidelity-Related Behaviors on Social Media Sites and Marital Satisfaction